Romans 1: Explanation and Application

Hello again, friends! Thank you for coming to visit my blog.

As I mentioned previously, I am currently attending a small Bible college. In it, our main textbook is--you guessed it--the Bible. One of the classes I am in right now is about the Book of Romans. We are doing a nine-week study, going through it verse-by-verse. We are learning a lot of wonderful things about Jesus, salvation, and the Christian life. I am really loving it and would like nothing more than to share some of those things with you, readers. Thankfully, my class is making it easy for me to do so. You see, we have been assigned to write a "letter" to someone explaining each chapter as we study through it and adding practical applications. Functionally, the assignments are to help us be able to regurgitate what we're learning in normal language so that we can share it with people who know little or nothing about God and the Bible. If it would be all right with you all, I would love to be able to share my Romans letters with you on this blog. In other words, I get to share all the wonderful things I am learning with you that I would want to share with you anyway--and accomplish homework as well. Win-win, right?

First, please, please read Romans 1 before you read my explanation and application in the following paragraphs. I would like to think I have a lot of great things to say to in this letter, but nothing I can ever write will even compare with the words God Himself wrote down in a book for us. Plus, I'm a flawed human. I would hate to inadvertently tell you a lie, so please double check what I say by comparing it to the original. You can find free access to the Bible on BibleGateway.com or a myriad other websites, as well as in print.

All of that said, I hope that my words will bring better understanding of what you read in the Bible. There are a lot of obscure words and cultural things that are particular to the time period that Romans was written in which are better understood with study, and I am privileged to be able to study all of that at my Bible college. So if you think you could benefit from my explanation and application, please read on. But if you have to choose between reading my blog and reading the Bible, please choose the Bible.

The Book of Romans begins with an introduction. Paul the apostle, a Christian leader from the first century AD, wrote Romans as a letter to the Christian believers who were living in the city of Rome at the time. Paul had never met these believers, and so he spends the first half of the chapter explaining who he is, what he believes, and some of why he is writing. Paul considers himself a slave to Jesus Christ who was chosen by God to be an apostle (a leader of special authority from God) and was sent out to preach the Good News about Jesus Christ, which was promised centuries before. Paul then explains who Jesus is: A human descendant of King David, proven to be the Son of God when He was raised from the dead by the Holy Spirit, and the master and leader of all Christians. It is through and because of Jesus that God chose Paul and several others to have power and authority as apostles in order to tell non-Jews (and Jews) what God did for them so that they will believe and obey Him.

The next verse or two tells who he is writing to--the believers in Rome--and gives them a blessing as a greeting. Then Paul tells them that he prays for them and prays for the opportunity to come and meet them, though he has been prevented from coming to that point. He wants to bring them some spiritual knowledge, encourage them, and be encouraged by them through seeing the good that God is doing in and through them. Paul tells them that he believes it is his job to help all people by bringing the Good News of Jesus. This news is applicable to all people and is how God saves people from death in Hell; all people who believe in this news are given right standing with God, the Judge, and are given life.

Paul changes directions at this point in his letter. The first part was the overview, and the rest of the letter explains everything in more detail. The second half of the first chapter explains what we humans did wrong, which is why we need Jesus. First, God is angry at all people who are evil and who suppress and reject the truth of God. Paul shows that all people know the truth about God because God made it obvious to them. Nature, which is God’s creation, is visible to everyone and shows that God is by nature eternally powerful and divine. All people knew God at the very beginning of time and can still see Him through the natural world, but they refused to acknowledge Him. Instead, they decided to imagine what God must be like, and ended up “creating” false gods that have no power. So they became idiots: They had the truth about God, but they traded it for a lie, for false gods of their own making. And God decided He would allow them to continue doing wrong if that’s what they really wanted, although that was never what He wanted for them. So humanity rejected the Creator God and worshiped created things. Doing this led them down the path of more evil things, and so they turned against the natural order of how God created human romantic relationships and instead became homosexuals. They filled their lives with everything evil, from disobeying their parents to murdering others. They even invented new ways to do evil. They knew that, though God is allowing them to follow their evil desires presently, He will judge them for their actions someday. They know this, and yet they continue to do evil and even encourage others to do the same.

That is the conclusion to Romans 1, and at this point, you might be wondering what this has to do with anything. The first part of the chapter is very positive and the second part is pretty negative and might even be offensive to you. Know first that the first three chapters of Romans are negative because they talk about how all humans are horrible screw ups. But the book returns to positive topics right after that. Know also that, even though these chapters say some pretty harsh things about certain practices, God still loves the people who do them. You will also see that if you wait and keep reading as I update each week.

In the meantime, there are some applications that can be drawn from this chapter. One of the biggest applications for me is simply to have the knowledge found in the chapter. It is helpful to know who Paul is and by what authority he is writing, so that I can trust his credibility and understand his background when he writes this letter. He was sent directly from God to give the message he preaches, both in this book and in his other books. Another thing that is helpful for me is to understand how God looks at people. Knowing that all people are capable of understanding from the natural world that there is a God and that there is some kind of judgment coming for their actions--knowing this is helpful to me to see that God is not judging them--us--with them being completely ignorant. Also, it is really helpful to see what God considers to be evil. It is one thing to say that evil actions are evil; we can agree on that. But without a list of what God considers to be evil, we will rely on our own definitions, which will get us in trouble because our definitions are not the same as God's. It is God’s definitions that matter since He is the Judge.

In any case, there is much more to the book, and I hope you are interested in seeing what it has to say--there’s a lot of hope coming up! But for now, please comment with your thoughts! I would love to chat with you about all of it, even if it is a critique.

As always, I pray that God will use my words to sink some of His truth deeper into your hearts. And I pray that He will keep me on track and focused on Him so that I may know Him and be of greater use.

God, Me, and Writing

With this post, I hope to let you know a little more about how this blog came about and how God has been working in my life recently, mainly concerning writing.

Also, this post is really long, so if you don't have time to read all of it, skip down to start reading at the part that with the stars (*****). It's the most important part.

Many years ago, a toddler picked up an American Girls novella at the library, thinking it was a baby board book, and her mom took it home without noticing. That night, the mom found the book and gave it to the toddler's older sister, since she was six years old and had already learned to read. That little girl was instantly hooked on the book and finished it in bed that night. From that time onward, reading became her favorite pastime.

As you might have guessed, that little girl is me. I grew up watching my dad read for hours in his favorite blue chair after work every day. My mom homeschooled my brother, sister, and I for the first few years, and so she taught us how to read and also read books to us. A book that we read in third grade, called Secret Under the Maple Tree, was what helped me understand that I needed to make a choice to believe in Jesus myself. And when I was fourteen, summer camp and a different Christian fiction book helped me decide to "give Jesus my life"--as in, not just say "I believe" and live however I wanted, but to choose to follow and obey Him for my life and future. Numerous other books have also had impacts on my life. (I do not count the Bible as a mere book; it is in a category all its own, so I am not referring to it here.)

Alongside my love for reading grew my love for writing. I was always playing imaginary games, which turned into complex novel ideas as I aged. One of my best friends initially planted the idea in my head of writing a book. We sixth graders were going to write a book! It didn't happen, but it was a lot of fun imagining together. From there, I began planning and writing my own stories.

In my teen years, my love for Jesus grew even as my love for reading and writing grew. Some days, I feared that my love for books was greater than my love for Jesus, which was a source of guilt. I almost stopped reading because of it, but my parents and mentors talked me out of it. Then when I was sixteen and believed God was calling me to missions, my first thought was, "But I don't want to leave my books behind! Or my family!" I wrestled with it, felt guilty, prayed, asked for advice. I ended up saying what I did before--I would go where God called me, even if I had to leave my books and my family behind. But if there was any way I could take my books with me, I would.

I remember one day when I was 16 or 17. I was driving home alone from my grandma's house, only a few minutes away from ours, and I was praying. I was passionate, asking and pleading with God to show me what He wanted me to do. Did He want me to write a book? I longed to! I was overflowing with passion for it, but I wanted His will first. My internal prayers exploded into audible words because I could not keep silent. And in that moment, I felt/heard Him tell me clearly, "Now is not the time." The impression I was left with was that now--in high school, in college, wasn't when He wanted me to write. Oh, but the end of college was so far away! I was not very happy about it. I told my parents and mentor, and they thought it could not possibly have been God because He gave me the talent, so obviously He wanted me to use it. I tried to believe them; I pursued writing still. But I couldn't escape the idea that it was Him, and I couldn't forget about it. However, I didn't think that He was prohibiting me from learning and practicing.

Senior year in high school, I had to do a senior project. I thought, "Missions, obviously." And my teachers said, "You're a chaplain at school, you went on a missions trip to Kenya, you raised support and served at a Christian Bible camp all summer, and you lead music in your youth group. Why don't you choose something you don't know as much about?" So I chose fiction writing. That project opened some awesome doors for me. I was able to attend a writer's conference and to job-shadow my favorite author, Bryan Davis, to all of his speaking events in the area. Researching for the paper, helped me learn more of what goes into writing a book, and it also inspired me to begin my own blog and enter into the "bookish" world that exists online.

For college, I was looking for somewhere that I could study Christianity, but also English. I remember praying internally in my school counselor's office that if God wanted me to go to a college I didn't know of yet, He would show me what it was. Two minutes later, a representative from Grand Canyon University walked in and described a college that was exactly what I was looking for. I prayed more, asked advice, and went.

In my second semester two things happened: First, I was struggling with the idea that a missionary (like future me) wouldn't have place for writing fiction in their very God-focused life. That is when I stumbled upon Annie Douglass Lima, an American woman who lives in Taiwan, writes fiction, and also teaches at an English-speaking school for missionary kids and anyone else who chooses to attend. In short, she is a missionary who writes fiction--just what I was worried about. I messaged her online, and though we have never met, we have an ongoing virtual friendship. Her books are great!

Second, I switched my major in college. I was doing the degree called Christian Studies with an emphasis in Youth Ministry (did I mention I love kids too?). But I was noticing that I spent way more time working on my new blog, writing, and reading than being involved in ministry at my new church. I wanted to minor in English, but there was no minor. There was, however, a major in English Literature and a minor in Christian Studies. I certainly prayed about the decision, but I was listening more to my desires, my parents who said English was a more practical choice, and my career-focused college telling me to pursue my dream. While I can't definitively say I made the wrong decision, I also cannot say that I was listening to God very well when I made the decision. So I switched my major to a minor and chose English Lit as my new major.

It was around that time that I began falling away from God. Himself and His will weren't my main focus anymore, to the point where I completely forgot that I believed He called me to missions. Reading and blogging took over more and more of my life as time passed. It wasn't all bad, and I never completely turned away from God. It is just that my life was more focused on what I wanted rather than seeking Him and what He wanted. I had some really great experiences during that time and built up my resume with any opportunity I could find, since I knew it would be incredibly hard to find a paying job in my field after college. I had an internship with a small publishing company in the area and two internships writing for online Christian magazines, among other things. Also, along with my distraction from God, my morals as to what books were appropriate to read began to loosen. I got caught up in reading some very sin-filled books that I wish I could delete from my mind now. The college actually required me to read some of them because they were "classics." Apparently "classic" doesn't mean "clean."

*****

In any case, as I told you in the post from the other day, after college, God totally rocked my world and put me in a Bible College last minute. In the year since I came here, my focus on God has been totally re-oriented and I have learned things about Him and walking with Him that have changed my life and character. It has been amazing. The area of books and writing were no exception. I took my focus off my career and off books and put it back on God. As much as my flawed human self can, anyway. For some periods of time, I stopped blogging and reading fiction because there has been little time to and God and people are more important. Additionally, fiction isn't always beneficial; sometimes it makes me desire things I can't have now, which can be unhealthy. I started wondering whether I should be reading fiction at all or thinking about writing the books I never got around to. I felt guilty or uncertain more than passionate in regards to writing and books. Being a missionary again came into my mind, though I was uncertain of God's call. My entire future was uncertain.

Then it happened. During Christmas break, I was invited to watch the movie The Insanity of God by a couple of friends. If you haven't heard of it, it is based off a book by the same name, authored by Nik Ripken. The movie tells the story of Nik and his wife in overseas missions and how they were asked to tour parts of the world with heavy Christian persecution and ask the believers for tips on how they endured the suffering. Their journey turned into a series of amazing stories about God's faithfulness during the worst of circumstances and that, despite everything, Jesus is totally worth it.

I walked back to my room overflowing with emotions I don't know how to describe. I spent the next hour on the floor, praying passionately in tears and in love with my God. I wanted to know Him the way those Christians do! I wanted to not let the opportunities afforded by living in this free nation pass, making the sacrifice of those other believers seem worthless. I wanted to declare to all the world that Jesus Christ is the only true God, the Savior, the Redeemer, the One Worthy of every sacrifice! So what did He want me to do? How was I to share this message? What should I do with my life? What should I do now? Lord, give me courage!

In the middle of that is when God spoke to me a second time. Like the first time when He told me, "Now is not the time," I heard clearly in my mind and could not deny it was Him. He said, "WRITE." Write about Him. Use my words to declare HIM to the world. NOW was finally the time. And instead of being overjoyed, I felt terrified. (Ironic, right?) To spend hundreds of hours, years of work on something only to have it turned down by publishing companies, go unnoticed if self-published, and rejected by the few who might read it--those were my fears, and they crippled me in that moment. I told God as much. He, of course, reminded me that He is God and can make me the most famous author in the world if He so chose. And even if He doesn't, I would be following His will, which is more valuable to Him than fame, and if a few read my words and are encouraged, that too is worth it. When I put up further objections, He reminded me that He would help me through all of it. He even told me something I can barely dare to believe: that He made me to write. That is His plan for my life, the good works He created for me to do. I accepted. How everything will happen and how big a role it will play in my life and in others' lives is yet to be seen, but writing about God will happen. (And I'm scared to declare all of that because, what if I fail? What if it's me who said this, not Him? But I'm declaring it anyway, trusting God to keep me on track.)

That was months ago. Then what did I do? I considered the internship I applied to last year which was with the missions organization my Bible college is part of. They turned me down last year but told me I should try again. Perhaps that would involve writing? I contacted some of the people there, and it seems really promising. I need prayers in that regard, though.

In my personal life, though, I didn't immediately start writing. Or at least, I did, but I didn't keep it up. What was I supposed to write, anyway? I thought, "I'm really busy with school. How can I add another thing to my plate?" and "Perhaps that call to write is only for the future, since I am so busy right now." But the idea of starting this blog stuck in my mind and kept coming back. I had many great reasons to want to start, but I was scared I would not be able to be consistent with posting and wouldn't get enough sleep. And yet, words kept pummeling through my mind, waiting to be written. Inspiration to talk about my Jesus has been coming from everywhere, and I have so many ideas!

This last week, some of that came to a climax. I have been incredibly busy with school and my many other responsibilities. I haven't been getting enough sleep, and it worries me. But then when I tried to sleep most nights, I couldn't fall asleep because my mind was so busy. On Wednesday, I came back from Perspectives, a missions-focused night class I attend once a week. I was stressed and frustrated but also joyful and passionate about Jesus, however that makes sense. And I realized that since it wasn't likely I could sleep anyway, I might as well stop worrying and do something--start this new blog, writing about what Jesus has been doing in my life.

I wrote for three hours. I worried I said the wrong things or that Jesus wouldn't help me stay awake the next morning because I might not have been doing what He wanted when I stayed awake too late. I decided to attribute that worry to Satan who is trying to stop me from proclaiming Jesus. The next morning, I heard back, for the first time in a month, from some of the people about the internship. I also had all the energy I needed to get through the day and was able to sleep well that night. I told my friend about all of this, and she said, "So you're telling me that, now that you started listening to what God wants You to do, He answered your prayers? ... You can sit on a bicycle and ask for direction, but if you're not moving, He can't tell you where to go."

So now, I write.

Please, I need your prayers. I need to write what God wants. I need to find courage and time. I need to keep Him at the center of everything. I need keep going and not let discouragement and fear get in my way.

Thank You, Lord Jesus, for all You have done and are doing.

(The photo was taken by a friend as part of my college senior pictures.)

Introduction and My Story

Hi!

So this is me - Anne Evans. And I want to talk about God's grace on this blog. The definition of "grace" is "unmerited favor," or in other words, getting something we don't deserve. God has given us a lot of things we don't deserve.

Let me tell you a little about myself, though, so you know who's talking at you on here.

First and foremost, I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. My life's desire is to know Him more and follow in His ways by His strength. He is the God I will be talking about.

After that, I am a human female living on planet earth. I'm American, raised in a little tiny town in the middle of nowhere. The household I grew up in was run by my rather conservative, protective, and loving parents. They took me to church, youth group, and summer camp regularly. I was home-schooled for the first few years and then attended two tiny Christian schools until graduation. In other words, I grew up learning about Jesus and being sheltered from a lot of the bad stuff in this world. Books were my favorite entertainment, and my social life consisted of the Christian kids at youth group who I also attended school with.

You might think, "She was brainwashed into becoming a Christian because she never knew anything else!" I disagree. Yes, it is true that as a young child there was no doubt in my mind that what I was learning was true. But I grew up. I struggled through doubting my faith several times and I was exposed to all kinds of different views and religions as soon as I went to college. But what I came back to in the end is that: 1.) Jesus is the only one who offers hope with love and assurance, based off of Jesus' actions and not my own; and 2.) I have found Jesus to be reliable through my own experience and through other people's experiences. And so I continue to believe.

In "short," I believe that Jesus is God and He loves all humans very, very much. But all of us humans have disobeyed Him in some way. We are not perfect, but God is. And God cannot lovingly coexist with us the way He wants to when we are imperfect. God is also a just judge and cannot let disobedience (evil) go unpunished. Unfortunately, the punishment is separation from Him (the definition of all good things), death, and eternal suffering in Hell. But He still loved us rotten humans, and so He found a way to do the punishment and restore His relationship with us while still being just, without killing us. That was Jesus. Jesus is God, and Jesus as God turned Himself into a regular human while still being completely God. (No idea how it works, but it happened. Read the Bible.) Jesus lived like any human except that He did everything perfectly without disobeying God/Himself once. Then He allowed Himself to be murdered so that His innocent life could take the place of us humans in the just, criminal punishment we deserved. But for Him, death didn't stick because He didn't deserve the punishment and He is God. So Jesus completely paid for every human's disobedience to God when He died in our place, and He proved that He paid for it when He came back to life three days later. Except that every human has to know this stuff and believe in it in order for them to be saved from God's punishment. Once they do believe, they are "saved" from God's punishment, reunited with God as the beginning of a great friendship, given hope and purpose, and given and promised many wonderful things, including eternal life and joy in Heaven. Knowledge and belief is the key.

I am convinced that Jesus is the only way to find fulfillment in this life and hope for the next, and that God/Jesus is always with me, hearing my prayers and enduring my struggles with me.

But that sounds rather self-focused. We'll get back to it in a minute.

As I said, I believed in Jesus from childhood. In my teens, my belief and experiences with Jesus grew a lot. I struggled through overwhelming busyness, loneliness, crippling fear, perfectionism, and the kind of hurt that comes from having a home broken by depression and mistrust. Through that, I learned that God is always with me and can be called upon whenever I need help. He doesn't always help in the way I want, but He has gotten me through days and pain I thought I would never survive. I still struggle with most of that, but I have God who helps me endure, live, heal, and grow. I also learned during those years that not matter how hard I try, I cannot achieve God's idea of perfection on my own, without His help. Trying and failing to do that took me down dark paths in my mind I wish never to return to because my focus was on my failure (or self-righteousness) instead of God.

I went off to a nominally Christian college with a lot of hopes. I believed God was calling me to missions (going to another place to tell others about Jesus), but I found that my focus was more on my other passion - books and writing - than it was on God. So with a little advice and prayer, I changed my degree to a major in English Literature and a minor in Christian Studies. Over those 3.5 years, I began to lose sight of Jesus. Instead of focusing on and putting my identity in Him, I focused on my career and put my identity in other people's opinions of me. So when the guy I hoped to marry turned out not to be a great person, my parents started talking about divorce (despite their promises never to divorce because they loved their kids), and my career goals seemed unattainable - I fell apart. I had no hope in this life. Nothing gave me joy. I had passion, but as soon as I stopped doing whatever inspired the passion (like reading fiction), I was as hopeless as ever. And this relationship with Jesus that was supposed to bring me joy brought be nothing but the feeling of guilt. I knew God still heard me, but what about the promises of joy, hope, love, and peace? All I felt was misplaced guilt because I was still trying to please God with my attempts at perfection, though I was trying to ignore the problem.

I was a mess when I graduated with my BA that December. I went home with my parents for Christmas with plans to focus on my career and return to the city where the college was that January. Then I realized I had no money. I needed plane tickets, an apartment, reliable transportation, and a job in order to do that - and I had none of that. I was crushed. I had putting my last hopes in my career plans, and while I could still work toward that in the distant future, the immediate future looked like a rotten job in a small town where I had one friends and parents I was having problems with. When a job and living situation is your only source of hope, those circumstances crushed the hope. (Yes, I know, I was a bit over-dramatic.)

That was when I begged God for help. By begged, I mean sobbed into my pillow for over an hour, telling Him how hopeless, trapped, and helpless I felt and begged for a way to escape my circumstances.

And God helped me. But not how I expected.

Later that day, my mentor, a sweet, godly lady from church who I grew up knowing like an aunt, finally called me back. She gave me several suggestions, including going to the tiny Bible college she attended years before. She gave me a list of reasons that sounded appealing, also. But I was broke. She figured I could go that fall semester, after saving up all spring. My thought was that, if I had to be at home saving money, I might as well go with my original career plan in the fall instead of this. So if I was to go, it had to be immediately - in 7 days when the semester began in January. Seven days to apply and be accepted, move halfway across the country, and come up with some $1500 and a plane ticket. I figured that if God wanted me to go, He would make a way because it was never going to happen otherwise. So I applied. And in 4 days, I was accepted and had a plane ticket and a way to pay. So I threw out my other motivations for getting there and went with: "God wants me at Bible college, and so I'm here to find out why and to do it."

I am at that Bible college now and have finished more than half of the program. Since I've been here, I have learned SO MUCH. In the first months, He began healing me from some of my hurts and in my relationships. He gave me hope again and helped me deal with some of my sins/addictions. Not long after that, I began learning that my entire relationship with God hinged on knowing Him and then depending on Him. I knew I couldn't be perfect according to His standards; I was always failing and feeling guilty because I knew He wanted me to live in a way that pleased Him. But I didn't know that Jesus was waiting "with a broom and dustpan" to clean up my life if I would just ask for help. I thought I had to clean it up and then go to Him. In order to find that help, I needed to ask and rely on His help. And in order to do that, I needed to know Him and His character well enough to be able to trust His help. Knowing Him comes from a lot of prayer, Bible study, shared stories and friendship with other believers, and service to Him over time. I am still learning that, even with His help, God paces us out and doesn't fix everything immediately; and since it is Him doing it, he certainly accepts us wherever we are in our messy learning - He doesn't ignore or judge us for not having things together. We have all of this hope, forgiveness, and opportunity for life as soon as we believe. But in order to learn and grow in it and to avoid the false feelings of guilt, we have to continually return our minds to these truths and to knowing Jesus who provided all of this stuff for us. And that is where I am now - knowing all of this stuff and struggling to put it into practice. It is difficult and painful sometimes, but when I keep returning to thinking and trusting in Jesus and what He did and praying for His help, I find peace, joy, victory, love, hope, and every good thing.

And as I am learning to know God and His endless love for every human on the planet, including me, I can't help but want to join His mission to offer all this wonderfulness to everyone. Knowing God makes me want to love Him, because He is the definition of love. And loving Him means loving what He loves: all people. And I want to join Him in loving others, even though it will mean that I have to give up a lot of things I like and will make me suffer sometimes. But I know He will give me the strength to endure it, and Jesus is totally worth it. (And there's Heaven to look forward to.)

All of that is the reason why I want to write this blog - to get the word out to those who don't believe in Jesus and to help grow and encourage those who do believe. I have been praying about this for a while now, and I finally gave in to God's urging to "Write!" I pray He will give me the words and keep me focused on Him in my life and on this blog. I pray He will show Himself to you all, dear readers, and will use my scribblings to benefit you in some way. It is Him who changes hearts, not me.

(Also, if you're wondering, the picture is one I took of a beach in Washington.)