On Hope in the Midst of This Crazy Life

Photo by Ron Smith on Unsplash

I had a long day today. It's part of a long couple of weeks and months. I've been pretty exhausted, anxious, and discouraged lately.

Don't get me wrong--there are a lot of really amazing things going on in my life! School is amazing. I am learning so many amazing things I can't even absorb them all. And ever since Christmas, it seems like God turned on a light and said, "Work toward these things for your future." It has been really, really good to see how He's moving in my life right now. He is so present all the time.

But all the same, I'm also exhausted and discouraged, and I can't seem to completely let go of my fears and worries about how all of the future things will work out. I feel attacked. Just as God is working in my life for good, the struggle is getting harder. Stupid fears I have already dealt with come back up to be dealt with again.

For instance, I subconsciously think, "God only wants me to be a servant to Him. He saved me and now He wants me to slave away, working reward-less through long years of toil and suffering with little help." How ludicrous is that? First, if God wanted a perfect servant, He could have made one. He didn't have to leave His throne, take on a decaying human body, and allow Himself to be murdered in order to get a servant. And it isn't like I--or you--are perfect now that we are His, either. He accepts us as we are.

Second, we aren't God's slaves or servants. We are His children and heirs. As Romans 8:15-17 says, "For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together" (NKJV). That word "Abba" means "Daddy." It means that God isn't the harsh, austere Father demanding perfect obedience from His children. He is the Daddy that the toddler, giggling, cries out to when He tosses His little one in the air and then hugs her tight.

And yes, there is that bit at the end of Romans 8:17 that talks about suffering. Verse 18 says, "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us" (NKJV). The description of suffering in those verses, which is defined a little more in the following verses, seems to depict this life that we live in now (or so my Bible teacher says). This life with its illnesses, exhaustion, ageing, internal struggle, difficult people, and even persecution. All of us suffer through some or all of those things. We do it with or without Jesus, and I, for one, would like to do it with Jesus.

He does not leave us alone with no help, either. Over and over again I am seeing that the only way for me to do good, to endure suffering, to live the life God wants me to lead, or to succeed in anything is to rely on God's strength. I have to pray continually, thanking and praising God for what He has done, trusting that what He promised and said is true, asking for help and strength as I need it in every moment, listening to His leading as He guides me in the moments and years, asking the hard questions and crying out when I hurt, and getting to KNOW Him as the wonderful "person" He is. We have to "cling" to God. Jeremiah 13:1-11 vividly describes what happens to people who don't cling to God like a belt (or underwear) on someone's waist--they become useless and ruined. But when they do cling to Him, they are useful, even ornamental (think belt).

Finally, there is a reward! We aren't slaves, we are heirs of God. Think: the God of the universe who created and owns everything gave us the thing of most value, Himself, Jesus. "Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?" (Rom. 8:32, NLT). Don't get me wrong, this is talking more about Heaven than this life, although we do get the first taste of it here and now. But in the future, God will give new life to us who believe and to this old planet that is falling apart. He will create a new earth that isn't corrupted by evil and death and give us new bodies that are free from all suffering and evil. So describes Romans 8:18-25. That is what is meant by "future glory" in the verses I quoted earlier. We haven't earned any of this stuff, but God graciously gives it all to us anyway. I look forward to that day.

So for me to apply this in the midst of my state of exhaustion, discouragement, and worry, I have to continually go back to God for help, clinging to Him with constant prayer so that I might have the strength to not only endure but rejoice through my days and to trust when I am tempted to believe the lie. It's not easy, but I press on, pursuing God even as I rely on Him to make me long for Him. (Also ... getting more sleep is a necessity ...)

I hope that this debunking of my own lie has given you hope. It is so, so good for us to be reminded of all this.

Please, talk to me about your crazy life and worries, or how God is helping you through the midst of it! I would love to encourage you more or be encouraged by your stories and thoughts.